March 2012
6 posts
Laptop is DEAD.
i miss you tumblr i’ll hopefully be on by monday. daddy’s gonna fix you tomorrow. ta-ta for now ]:
i have to write out my 1st check tomorrow
for my last job and there fcking mistake. Explain to me. tax people. people. friends. family. experts. and littlepissoffcknshtfckedassholebtchs of partyfair eastbrunswick— why i must pay. 400$ for that mistake.? for YOUR MISTAKE. for a mistake written on a federal document that cant be fixed. or taken care of. i have to take it to my hand. to that check. to write out. 400. FOURHUNDRED FCKN...
(-___-)
i havent been the greatest daughter lately…yes. i know. but the one day i try to fix that. attempt to make up for that. i finally bring up enough courage to say, maybe you and daddy can talk about it…but right now im not paying for anything. i need to start. i get her amazed expression with a dab of disapproval as she replies i dont want you to get mad at me when i tell you this but...
Reasons Why I Hate Being A Girl:
Everyone with an opinnion that goes to Middlesex, pisses me off so incrediably much.
Im overly cranky when im hungry! Driving on the road behind other CRVS, SUVS, or any car bigger and or the same size as my CRV deserves a race with me in the right lane———BTCHS COME AT. ME. I. WILL. TEAR. YOUR. SHTT. CAR. A. NEW. ASS. Pampering and being a girl just makes me want to become a...
February 2012
20 posts
Its weird.
I dropped a math class. I’m unemployed. I have the best bestfriend anyone could have. Just seeing her for 10 minutes makes me smile. I have a beyond amazing boyfriend. Im climbing the charts of becoming a great journalist and i have confidence. But….its not enough. I’m missing something. Im lost?
Maybe that’s not the word. All i know is— I’m motivated. Im...
Dear AshleyReid. Im too much of a pussy to face...
I understand you are beyond all levels of hell pissed. Im sure saying sorry on behalf of all ex partyfair employees and i doesnt help. I hope when you read this you;ll know i am sorry. I wont explain. I wont make exscues. I am.
I feel terrible. I do. I feel like i do this all the time to my friends…I feel like i cant really escape the everyday routine of school. home. boyfriend. And to...
Hey bby can i tell you a secret?
When i was in high school a guy asked me a question. He said, ‘justin if you had to fight for one thing what would it be’
i answered ‘ill fight for something worth fighting for, no matter what. i told him that. i said the one thing everyone looks for. And thats love. no mater what because thats worth fighting for.
your my everything v. ur the only one for me.
I’ll...
Day 3
I spoke to my Uncle today. We had dinner we walked around the mall. Then to Barns and Nobles and then we went back home. I love having conversations with him. He listens to me. I listen to him. We have these world and life conversations that helps me alot to make me feel better with what im doing today. I have something to look forward to though. If i can find friends to live with, and hold up...
Day 2 Jobless
my dad’s away on bussiness and he told me to take care of my mom and my brothers. my mom gave me money for dinner to pick up. i was 5dollars short and i paniced thinking i didnt have enough on my debet card. but luckily i did. i had to pick up some last minute stuff for his valentines day present. i was short having 10dollars on me i can spend. i left with the minimumn. its almost 2...
Day 1 Jobless
its a relieving feeling. I understand now how that feels when those whose left had said it and i had to get over the little ounce of miss for them. its almost unreal. it all happened so fast. and im sure why i even done it that way. its stupid…but its true. all my reasons. if anyone were in my shoes youd understand. im on this new changing journey now and im holding on to something that ill...
I have this heightening feeling in my chest
that then throbs in my throat, that cloggs my hearing, that waters my eyes and makes me hiccup to cry. over and over again. swiftly and uncontroblly— overwelming my echoing gasps captavating myself in a stage of misery. I cant help but curled up, under the covers hurting. Hurting everything in my head…& yes im panicing. I feel like theres this part of me that will always make the...
i guess i owe you that 20
i didnt try to find him. i swear. i just took a different route out of the building. i ran into him. i smiled. he saw me. i hugged him. we talked until 1230. we walked around everywhere. we talked. and he knew. i told him our stories.
he told me his. he said, “dont stress over it. your making it unneccessary. you do look drained.”
Today i didnt wear my locket
Today i changed the way i got home so i wouldnt see him on the road. Today I wont be wearing his hoodie to sleep. Today i wont be wearing his tag. Today i changed my profile picture of the hellokitty he gave me. Today i changd the background of my phone of dizzy. Today i hate him and that wont change. that wont change because the more he tries,the more he pushes me away. Im not coming back. I...
Got home Safe
My mom waited for me to get home from class, she asks “I just wanted to make sure your okay…he looked so scared when i opened the door. Do you think its over” All i said was “i dont care anymore. i have things to write.” From upstairs my dad goes, “Vicki home?” Mom: “Yeah. shes home.” RJ: “Is she with him?” Mom: “No”...
& yet again
she comes when i need her most. Theres no one else i could want but her to make me feel better and make the most scariest things go away.
I woke up at 1
to my bestfriend who rang the doorbell. She brought me a green tea latte.
Stop Anna No i said, half asleep with my bath things in my hand to take a shower. This is for you, she says to cheer you up
I swear without this girl im nothing, i dont know how i would live where i am, without her being by my side. I told her what had happened this morning and im...
“baby can i tell you something? seeing you smile gives me the greatest feeling in...”
Sometimes
i get sad. because its the end of the night, and i’ll have to wait until i have to see him again when i dont want him to leave.
Yesterday Again
I never….had someone around long enough to keep track. Or had someone remember the little things i do, i say, i mention or are simply me. Never have i had someone who could make me smile and feel warm inside on a day like yesterday. and ill tell you a secret. It was worth the cutting ends, worth the wait and worth all the ups and downs to have gotten here. because to me, one single story...
January 2012
14 posts
"can i ask you something"
yes bb? baby im sorry i stare at you. its just that im so glad your mine. i love you so much.
prompting myslf to tell partyfair people my...
so ive been sick from work for 5 days now.
have not been to work since friday last week…. ive diagnosed myself with—
pneumonia that changed into a lung infection (upper respitory tract) that traveled through my throat. i over exerted myself going into work two mondays ago and work in general, because i was dehydrated and wasnt eating properly, i wound up coughing alot which lead...
this semester
is annoying. is fustrating. is the start of a hard semester.
I know there is 15 weeks of school before i get into just taking 1 course in the summer. maybe even 2…it makes me want to vomit. academic hypothesis: double major. liberal arts: visual option.
im going to put my 2 week notice in for work in july sometime…
things that will motivate me and keep me from skipping classes is:...
i hate how on the best of days
i have to open my front door to him to say goodnight and see you tomorrow
stupid bannana
uuuuuuughhhhhhhhh…..what are you doing now?
im missing my bby, i want to help so bad.
hows laundry? are you watching halo? hows your neck? i miss you too. bby can you do something for me? he says.
yes?
can you look out the door.
thats when a hero decides to come and save me from a horrible day at work, with the hoodie i bought him for christmas on. a smile and a vanilla chai and a...
id give you more details but i dont think id have...
i spent my morning until noon in his bed. sleeping. we walked around the mall. ate lunch gazing at people and making fun of them. we went on a carasol. we switched driver & passenger seats during 2 red lights going back home. sang and acted silly during the car rides. we bought movies. ate dinner. we watched and laid on the coach. couch *thankyou AnnaPalaski <3 I fell asleep next to him. i...
“im gonna set a spammers fckn dick on fckn fire. fckn spam all over my tumblr....”
“TEST ME FCKN BTCH”
“IM GIVING YOU 5 MINUTES. I FCKN DARE YOU TO POST ANOTHER ONE YOU FCKER.”
“STOP FCKN SPAMMING MY TUMBLR YOU FCKN MOTHERFCKN CUNT ASSHOLE FCK”
December 2011
8 posts
“I can’t sleep………..quah. @___@”
in the end
i can’t just leave, im in too deep. too deep. i’ll stay because he needs me to.
and maybe i need him to.
im sorry
I cant do anything right.
I am a true disaster to myself, to my significant other and to his parents.
I make him disobey their rules. repeatably.
I take him to places and cost him thousands. Not money through dinner, lunch, or materialistic things. But his car. transportation. a single text from my own fingers to let them know where we are. A lie.
I get him in trouble when im in his house when...
how is it
on the most important day of the week of finals, I HAVE TO STAY AWAKE, i fall asleep
and on the not so important day, I AM WIDE AWAKE and i cant fall asleep.
….its almost 4:30 a.m I have to be out my house early to get on campus at 9.
|:
November 2011
6 posts
How The Boy and girl fight
wake up. mad. confused. pissed.
furious.
avoid male contact of so called “boy” from 3 hrs or a day and a half.
receive text from boy. dont mention what happened.
see each other at 5. meeting spot your house.
drive somehow far when its dark out already.
talk for a very long time.
Break down.
Boy-cry theatricality be sure to give military, marine, army, air force anything along...
He'll read this tomorrow,
ill drive to him just so he could open the door and take me in his arms, kiss me morning and take me to his room to lay on his bed before work, before my work on campus, in his quite house—and only the secret is kept when no one knows im not there. But we do.
he’s amazing.
and not because he wont mind being my sidekick on my journalism adventures. or that he’ll pick me up...
